When A Drink Is Not A Drink
Last Tuesday, i was the secretary for the AA meeting and an elderly woman came up to me afterwards to tell me that something i’d shared was very intelligent. i know, i couldn’t believe it either, but there you go. What did i say that got her attention?
i shared that when i was drinking, i thought i craved a drink, but i was wrong. i did not want a drink, i wanted what the drink represented. i wanted acceptance, admiration, laughter, excitement, passion, sex, Love, yes, Love. i wanted booze to lead me to Love with a capital L. But it never did.
Sometimes the alcohol took me close to these things, so close i could taste them, but then it always let me down. It let me down so hard that i woke up sick with bruises and no money, doing inventory to see what i had lost and accountability of who i owed apologies to.
And then, a few days later, i would head down the bottle to chase that same feeling again. i kept looking over and over again in the same place for something i had never found there before.
This is what they talk about when they talk about alcoholics and insanity.
Posted on May 17, 2012, in Alcoholics Anonymous, Alcoholism, Lessons in Recovery, Recovery and tagged AA, AA fellowship, alcohol, Alcohol Insanity, Alcohol Recovery, alcoholic, Alcoholics Anonymous, alcoholism, Insanity, Recovery, recovery friendship, What i learned in AA. Bookmark the permalink. 15 Comments.