Fake It ‘Til You Make It
Fake It ‘Til You Make It
Act like you are happy / capable / together / outgoing / patient / calm / etc. until you actually are.
i’ve reached a plateau in my recovery, which means i feel like i’m not progressing as i should. i feel worse than usual. Sadder. Angrier. Less patient. Lazier. All of these are signs that i have to be more vigilant about my behavior to avoid a relapse.
One of the tools to combat these feelings is to act as though i were happier, less angry, more patient and productive… “Priming the Pump” is probably the tool i have the most difficulty with because i have the impression i’m being insincere and lying to myself and others.
Still, when i catch my thoughts deteriorating, it doesn’t hurt anyone if i force a smile and hope that it eventually becomes real.
____________________________________
[As you can see in the header of this blog, i've added a new page, called "sAAyings". Similar to my GlossAAry of Alcoholic Anonymous terms, this page contains a list (to be updated regularly) of different expressions heard in Alcoholics Anonymous Meetings.]
Posted on September 8, 2012, in Alcoholics Anonymous, Alcoholism, Lessons in Recovery, Recovery, Toolbox and tagged AA Expressions, AA Glossary, AA Sayings, AA Terminology, Alcohol sadness, alcoholics anonymous meetings, Fake It 'Til You Make It, GlossAAry, mental-health, Pour Poor Me, priming the pump, recovery sadness, sAAyings, Sadness, Self Pity, Toolbox. Bookmark the permalink. 16 Comments.
It’s normal to to feel rotten sometimes. I feel that way every day. Thankfully, I don’t expect my road to recovery to end with a yellow brick road where unicorns ejaculate rainbows. I just expect to have a clear, sober mind to deal with whatever is causing it.
So what do you think is causing it? Stress? Boredom? Missing your wife? Whatever it is, a drunk won’t cure it…
Hey brother,
i get you. My pink cloud dissipated after about 6 months sober, i guess, and if i honestly look at my life now, it’s way better than it was when i was drinking. i think sometimes i just expect it to be better than it is.
Your question about the cause was a really good one because it forced me to take a look at what concretely was bugging me rather than just the general sense of foreboding that seems to overcome me. There are a lot of little things, nothing big. i always worry about money, there’s a leak in the plumbing the apartment manager won’t fix because he says it doesn’t exist so i have a fan pointed at that part of the carpet to dry the leak as it happens, my daughter is growing up and away, i put lots of pressure on myself to get a lot done and when i don’t do it all get on myself for being a lazy ass, i make choices and then beat myself up for not making the other choice (today it was: go outside in the beautiful sunshine or write up an interview i was lucky enough to do with one of my favorite bands; i chose the later and so was mad at myself for not going out even if i’m rather proud of the way the interview turned out)…and on and on and on lol
Thanks for letting me vent, man, keep coming back, OK?
Al K Hall
Feelings are hard to fake. Can relate to that overall period of slump. I hope you find something that engages and interests you. Take care.
Thanks so much for the encouraging words, they really do mean a lot.
Keep coming back,
Al K Hall
I agree Al, sometimes you just have to “act as if.” I was in a bad funk that week before the blue moon, I wasn’t sure why, but when I thought about it (as ITSB suggested above) I realized I was isolating and not hitting meetings, I was plain ass tired from lack of sleep and extra running, and was taking a new allergy med- all things that may have caused a slump. Plus sometimes slumps just happen.
Not sure what I’m trying to say here, just that I care. Keep coming back.
Isolating was really a lot of the problem, as i discovered when i got out today and had a great talk with my sponsor. He’s so good it makes me afraid of sponsoring someone else because i just don’t have his insights.
Your comment really meant a lot, it’s nice to feel a support network behind me!
Keep coming back!
Al K Hall
Your post reminds me of the song “Smile”. I love that song but it is sometimes so difficult to put into practice. The fact that you remain sober shows that you are making it. My thoughts are with you. L.
Avril Lavigne? My favorite part is when she swears, lol. Thanks for the good thoughts, they really helped!
Keep coming back, L,
Al K Hall
Lol no it was the other version. Much older. I will check out hers tho.
Oh Al-you are still THE DUDE to me! Besides your ability to locate THE most amazing appropriate visuals for your entries, you tap in to all our challenges, and write about them directly, clearly, to the point. Always appreciated. Hope you don’t have to fake it for too long.
Dudette! i’m already feeling much better, in fact. i talked to my sponsor, cleaned the bathroom, did some laundry, fixed the printer, did some shopping and took advantage of the beautiful weather we had today here!
Thanks for stopping by and keep coming back,
Al K Hall
Thought I’d go for two comments today! WOOT! I had to laugh when i saw how you “cheered yourself up” … sometimes doing mindless cleaning … toilets, laundry, fixing window shades, vacuuming is the BEST medicine. You zone out (of “frets and worries”), but you’re being productive and sober.
I think i “fake it” a lot, except in my blog … and i get some interesting responses to “not” faking “it”. So, maybe for the blog, which is not about recovery from alcoholism can be my catharsis, but maybe not. What i mean is, sometimes when i feel down i get the sense i’m being either “enabled” to be sad, or “slapped” for being sad. Niether of which does anyone any good, really. So, if the key is reaching out to PEOPLE for support, i suppose i need to go with something in the middle (like you are) … be honest, but try like hell to plaster a damn smile on the old face and think of (for me Harper) … or for you (whatever will bring you some peace) … like that. Just like that … all over the place. Just be well. I hate to see a fellow recoverer down … but it’s part of the package. Stay sober, my friend. NOT thirsty (except for life). xx Melis
Two comments in one day…i’m spoiled! Cleaning is definitely an opportunity for constructive meditation!
You’re right… in life we have to fake it. In my job i’m in constant contact with customers and i cannot walk into a meeting and start telling people about how bummed or down i am. To be honest, i think i was tempted to do that here in this blog because i perceived myself as some white knight of sobriety and wanted others to see me like that as well. The truth is, i’m human and i have my rough spots and not to recognize that is a threat to my sobriety because there’s an inherent lack of humility in thoughts like that. So i’ve decided to come out of the closet as a human being.
You’re right, though, the key to getting through this rough patch is people people people and i’m doing better at reaching out to them. Thanks for your thoughts and suggestions, i feel a little better already!
Keep coming back,
Al K Hall
Al, it shows great strength to show vulnerability… Because you DO risk judgment from “the judges”, self announced
I’m struggling with that too.
We are both string and vulnerable, and yes… Ok … Human … Aaaaaaaa
I’m on my phone… I meant self anointed judges. Duh!
Work.with.others.