The Most Important Thing You Will Hear Today

Indie genius Hip Hip poet Macklemore is addicted to codeine based cough syrup. In 2008, his breakout hit “Otherside” put him on the rap map as he bantered about overcoming his addiction to “easter pink” or “purple rain”.

In October 2012, he released the truly inspiring album The Heist with Ryan Lewis. On it, the song “Starting Over” tells the very personal story of his relapse. In an intimate and eloquent song, he describes the pain of letting down both loved ones and fans he helped in sobriety, and he explains the reasons for his relapse.

Like so many others, I just never thought I would

I never thought I would

Didn’t pick up The Book

Doin’ it by myself

Didn’t turn out that good

i’ve been sober for over 23 months and 4 days as of today. i’m extremely fortunate that i have been able to stay sober so long on my first try.

That i have not relapsed has nothing to do with personal strength or wanting it more or trying harder. If i’ve avoided a relapse it’s because i recognize that i’m weak and will never be able to control my drinking, so i let my Higher Power and others do it for me.

My continued sobriety is also thanks to those in the rooms and here online that have relapsed. In each of their stories i see my own and, as i know i’m no better than they are, their relapses serve to remind me how vulnerable i am. Each harrowing tale, disappearing face and name that evaporates on my blog roll frightens me and forces me to rise up from my laurels and fight like my life depends on it.

Because it does.

For those of you who have relapsed, know that your experiences are not wasted but serve to aid others who suffer. And remember, it is never too late to stop for the last time.

Dance Anyway

____________________________________________________________

About these ads

About Al K Hall

Like a battered drinker or a punch drunk boxer, i am here for another round. For those of you who don’t know me, i’m a semi-professional writer on the rocks and a non-practicing alcoholic (if after 30 years of practicing, you still can't do something well, it's best to just give it up). For those of you who do know me, thanks for stopping by anyway and where’s the ten bucks you owe me? Welcome to my Bar None. A hole in the wall where we can hang out and trade the kind of stories you swap only when you’ve had one too many and either can’t find your way home or are afraid to. Hell, it’s cheaper than therapy and plus the pictures are prettier. Here we’ll crack open bottles and jokes and ‘last call’ are the only dirty words you’ll never hear. Pull up a stool and make yourselves at home. http://about.me/AlKHall

View all posts by Al K Hall »

Posted on December 15, 2012, in Uncategorized and tagged Alcoholics Anonymous, Recovery, AA, Alcohol Recovery, alcoholism, Sponsor, AA Sponsor, AA fellowship, Self Hatred, Gratitude, alcohol, alcoholic, sobriety, health, Relapse, Macklemore, Starting Over, Otherside. Bookmark the permalink. 20 Comments.

Leave a Comment
Trackbacks(1)
Comments (19)

working on it | December 15, 2012 at 6:51 pm

For this post, I can only say thank you so much.

Reply
- Al K Hall | December 16, 2012 at 11:49 pm
  
  My pleasure, Working On It!
  
  Keep coming back,
  
  Al K Hall
  
  Reply
Rhubblog Administrator | December 15, 2012 at 11:43 pm

Terrific post.

Ronnie.

Reply
- Al K Hall | December 16, 2012 at 11:50 pm
  
  Too kind! And i’m flattered you were kind enough to repost it. Thank you again, my friend!
  
  Keep coming back,
  
  Al K Hall
  
  Reply
Rhubblog Administrator | December 15, 2012 at 11:44 pm

Reblogged this on "R"HubBlog.

Reply
facingfactsaboutmyself | December 16, 2012 at 2:28 am

Hi mate, I have really enjoyed blog and have nominated your blog as a very inspiring blog.

http://facingfactsaboutmyself.wordpress.com/2012/12/16/very-inspiring-blogger-award/

Thanks, Paul

Reply
- Al K Hall | December 16, 2012 at 11:51 pm
  
  Thanks Paul!
  
  Thanks for the props and i’m honored by the award. Your blog is an inspiration as well and i’m proud to have someone with your insight as one of my readers.
  
  Keep coming back,
  
  AL K Hall
  
  Reply
nnkato | December 16, 2012 at 5:24 pm

I concur with “workingonit”. Peace out.

Reply
- Al K Hall | December 16, 2012 at 11:52 pm
  
  Thank Dudette,
  
  Keep on hanging in there and keep coming back,
  
  Al K Hall
  
  Reply
answerswillcome | December 16, 2012 at 6:02 pm

Very powerful. “That i have not relapsed has nothing to do with personal strength or wanting it more or trying harder. If i’ve avoided a relapse it’s because i recognize that i’m weak and will never be able to control my drinking, so i let my Higher Power and others do it for me.” That’s my truth as well. I can’t even imagine how hard it is for celebrities trying to stay sober. I have a hard enough time keeping my ego right-sized. It would be exponentially more difficult if everyone was always telling you how awesome you are. You might just start to agree and think you don’t need people to help you.

Reply
- Al K Hall | December 16, 2012 at 11:54 pm
  
  “It would be exponentially more difficult if everyone was always telling you how awesome you are.”
  
  Fortunately, that’s not my case, lol! And if i ever start getting a big head…i have two teenagers who don’t mind keeping me humble.
  
  Keep coming back, my friend,
  
  Al K Hall
  
  Reply
Celeste E. Hall (aka Mrs Al K Hall) | December 17, 2012 at 4:27 am

Ditto to all the comments so far. Congratulations on the 23 months (and five days, today, my time)!

I have to agree with answerswillcome above that this statement is so powerful:

If i’ve avoided a relapse it’s because i recognize that i’m weak and will never be able to control my drinking, so i let my Higher Power and others do it for me.

I keep thinking of the show everyone likes to hate, but which I have appreciated so much because of the empathy and understanding it has given me towards those who struggle with substance abuse and recovery: Dr. Drew’s Rehab (the latest show has just been regular folk, not celebs). I mostly really like Bob on that show, and Bob is always going on about how successful recovery is about “taking direction.” Following one’s own direction led to substance abuse; turning over control to a higher power and a sponsor, folks in AA, and/or another substance abuse professional is what helps keeps a person from relapse. It seems it really is as simple as that, as Macklemore had to rediscover. That’s a really powerful song…

A day at a time. One foot in front of the other. You know what you need to do, and are doing it, and that is really cool. Here’s to the upcoming 2 year mark. I am so sorry I will not be able to be present for that meeting. I’d love to be. But I will be there in spirit, and I hope you will post pics of your chip here.

xx
Celeste

Reply
2embracethelight | December 19, 2012 at 6:11 am

What a powerful post and a testiment to your journey. Keep strong and never look back except to remember where you don’t want to be again.
Yisraela

Reply
- Al K Hall | December 22, 2012 at 6:14 pm
  
  Thank you, Yisraela!
  
  i wish for you the same sense of peace.
  
  Keep coming back,
  
  Al K Hall
  
  Reply
Mrs D | December 23, 2012 at 6:00 am

Yeah… what everyone else said. Great job and big congrats on 23 months. You have great strength within you, I hope you have a fabulous sober Christmas! xxx

Reply
- Al K Hall | January 2, 2013 at 3:23 pm
  
  Hi Mrs D!
  
  Back in town now and it was a sober and merry Christmas indeed. Thank you so much for your support of my blog and for being one of he secrets to my strength!
  
  Keep coming back,
  
  Al K Hall
  
  Reply
iamnotshe | January 10, 2013 at 4:40 pm

Fucking brilliant, fucking so well written, SO “right”. I am so happy i read this today. What a brilliant writer. He conveys that horrible feeling (i know from slips with b/p) where i went back to OA meetings and just cowered. I was ALWAYS upfront about my slips, and it DID make me a bit suspect: It is hard.

I love that he turned it around: If he can get sober he can show people how to start over: And how brilliant:

Getting sober, in the first place, is about starting over … we don’t ever stop starting over in one area of our lives or another. SO FUCKING TRUE! I think i’m in love! This guy is “on it”! Damn THANKS for sharing!

Reply
- Al K Hall | January 10, 2013 at 5:38 pm
  
  Mel! i’m glad you got so much from this and appreciate him as much as i do. It’s so refreshing to see/hear someone with such obvious talent who can relate our own personal feelings and experiences with such clarity.
  
  Keep coming back,
  
  Al K Hall
  
  Reply
  - iamnotshe | January 10, 2013 at 5:53 pm
    
    I appreciate the smarts, wisdom and talent. i’m a fan of both of ya!
    
    Reply