Losing My AA Life

Used 2014-04-05 Living On The Edge (AlKHall sobriety recovery)

Living On The Edge

Don’t let life AA gives you, take you away from your AA life.

This expression could just as well be, “Don’t let the life recovery gives you take you away from your recovery life.”

i’ve been guilty of this of late, cutting my meetings down to 1 a week when i used to hit 4, reading the Big Book less, not talking to my sponsor… The biggest reason is i have 6 blogs under 3 personae and i love each of them too much to stop.

How do i do it? Thanks to sobriety, i have so much more physical and creative energy. The ideas come on their own and the desire and willingness to sit down and craft them hasn’t come this easily in decades. The only thing i don’t have more of is time!

Thankfully, AA has also taught me to recognize the symptoms of my disease, and i know that i’ve been waking up a little less serene lately and finding myself more impatient in the last few days because  i haven’t been going to enough meetings. Thank my Higher Power, these symptoms are easy to cure and i’ve started resuming my regular meeting schedule this week.

As for my blogs? Yes, i know i have to let at least one of them die so i can give more attention to the rest, so i’m leaving it up to my HP and to my life to decide, because i can’t!

Be careful that the good life sobriety brings doesn’t take you away from the sobriety that delivers it!

_________________________________

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About Al K Hall

Like a battered drinker or a punch drunk boxer, i am here for another round. For those of you who don’t know me, i’m a semi-professional writer on the rocks and a non-practicing alcoholic (if after 30 years of practicing, you still can't do something well, it's best to just give it up). For those of you who do know me, thanks for stopping by anyway and where’s the ten bucks you owe me? Welcome to my Bar None. A hole in the wall where we can hang out and trade the kind of stories you swap only when you’ve had one too many and either can’t find your way home or are afraid to. Hell, it’s cheaper than therapy and plus the pictures are prettier. Here we’ll crack open bottles and jokes and ‘last call’ are the only dirty words you’ll never hear. Pull up a stool and make yourselves at home. http://about.me/AlKHall

Posted on April 5, 2014, in Alcoholics Anonymous, Alcoholism, Lessons in Recovery, Recovery, Uncategorized and tagged , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 11 Comments.

  1. So very true in Recovery. We are to have a life of Health & Balance in our recovery, and to continue to grow as we work through all the addiction baggage. Like our defects of personality, maturity, reputation, and making amends to those we had hurt.

    Then as you gain more clean time, it’s time to continue to grow and “Pay It Forward” with being in recovery service to others :-) Fellowship doesn’t just mean “Spiritual” is means “Unity” as a group. That’s why with the mental & emotional disorders I have, I can do my meetings, service to others, and support all on my computer! God Bless The Internet!…LOL.
    Great Post!

    Hugs & Blessings,
    *Catherine* :-)

    • Thanks Catherine!

      You’re so right! One thing i was thinking about last week was that even if i don’t need to go to meetings for my own well-being (meaning i’m not feeling sad or in need of a meeting), filling a chair is giving service because attending a meeting helps newcomers see that they aren’t a lone. Paying it forward, indeed!

      Keep coming back,

      Al K Hall

  2. I’ve heard a lot of folk say that the pink cloud fades, and life takes back over. People mention 9 months frequently as the time frame. We’ll see what happens, but at the moment it seems to me that my cloud’s pinkness is proportional to the amount of energy I direct towards the program. Peace comes and goes in waves and moments through the day, but if I can keep returning to the path and my HP, I believe I can achieve something like a consistent and lasting. Time will tell, I suppose, but for now I’ll just trudging the road and trying to live happy, joyous, and free. I’m fortunate to be a place right now where I’m able to make at least one meeting almost everyday. Have a great day! I wish you all the best in all your endeavors, both creative, and recovery related!

    • Hey brother!

      The good news is, as concerns my sobriety, if i hit 3-4 meetings a week, the pink cloud comes back and i can hop on it again–and this after 3+ years of sobriety. If i don’t think too much and hit meetings and read the literature and talk to my sponsor then i feel great. Like you said, my mental state is directly proportional to the amount of energy i consecrate to my recovery.

      Keep up the good works, and keep coming back,

      Al K Hall

  3. Hi Al! I can definitely relate, things get good and we kinda dwindle off on our meetings and such. I found myself in a scary place somewhere at 3 years in, i was actually contemplating drinking because maybe just maybe I was cured. I had my head so wrapped up in the obsession it got scary. Didn’t drink but I sure had some crazy in my head. So now I just keep my routine. I go to meetings no matter how I feel. I need the reminder, I need to be around people like me. And also I need to be of service, like Catherine says, time to pay it forward.
    Glad to see another post form you. :)

    • Hi Maggie!

      Thanks for the note! While i’m fortunate enough to know that i’m not cured, i do have to be on my guard with complacency. In fact, i have to cut this comment short because i’m off to a meeting!

      Be well, my friend, and keep coming back,

      Al K Hall

  4. 6 blogs, wow! I sure hope this isn’t one you give up. Glad to hear you stayed open to making time for what you need to get back to a better place.

    • Hi BBB!

      Fortunately for me, this blog is very easy to maintain and is also a part of my recovery, which is still my top priority in life. So, this blog would be the last one i drop! Thanks for your sweet comment!

      Keep coming back,

      Al K Hall

  5. It’s all about balance, isn’t it? I used to be over the top in recovery (is there such thing at first?) and then I had to reign it in as life started to emerge for me. I have also been guilty of going weeks between meetings, or neglecting my spiritual work. I usually hit 1-2 mtgs a week, unless I am really off balance. But one thing is for sure, regardless of the circumstances, I *always* feel better after a meeting. There is an uplifting, a sort of buzz that comes with being with others with the same affliction and issues. The presence of the Creator in the room. And of course talking to newcomers and oldtimers alike.

    Six blogs??? Holy crow man…how do you do it? I have trouble with one! But you seem to manage it. Passion overcomes a lot of things :)

    Great post!

    Paul

    • Is there such a thing at first? I hope not, but maybe sometimes. Last night, I needed to stay home and rest. Dragging my feverish, run down self downtown to the meeting would probably have done more harm than good. Regardless, Paul, you do good 12th step work here on the internet. I’m always happy to read your consistently positive comments on whichever blog I may see them.

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