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It Stopped Working

Used 2012-11-01 It's Stopped Working sobriety recovery alcoholism

It’s Stopped Working

i’m adding this to the SlogAAns & sAAyings page but i wanted to cross post here because it relates to my previous post about timing.

It Works Until It Doesn’t

Addicts begin using their drug of choice as self medication for a variety of ailments, and the treatment is efficient until “using” became “abusing” and “treatment” became “mistreatment”. The old methods work until they don’t work anymore. When the cure becomes the disease, alcoholics in recovery seek out healthier methods of dealing.

(For those of us in Alcoholics Anonymous, this realization is Step 1 material. “We admitted we were powerless over alcohol—that our lives had become unmanageable.“)

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This adage applies to other areas in recovery as well. Check it out:

  • i didn’t believe in or even need a Higher Power until i did
  • i skipped meditation in my recovery until i didn’t
  • i find it hard to be intimate until i won’t anymore…

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In A Pickle

Is that a banana in your pocket, or are you pickled to see me? sobriety recovery alcoholism

Is that a banana in your pocket, or are you pickled to see me?

A pickle can’t go back to being a cucumber.

One of the first truths i learned in recovery. Alcohol pickled my brain and now i’m permanently an alcoholic. No matter how much not-drinking i do, i will never go back to being a non-alcoholic. i cannot reverse my chemical make up and become “normal” again. It’s like trying to put toothpaste back in the tube, or an adult attempting to believe in Santa Claus once more.

Another take on the “A pickle can’t go back to being a cucumber” theme:

There was this very cool woman in my newcomers meetings. She was sincere, down to earth and humble without being insecure. She once shared that, even if she decided to start drinking again, she could not go back to the drinker she had been. She could no longer be cavalier about her drinking.

i began writing on the internet with a blog that glorified drinking in general, and my own drinking specifically. As an alcoholic in recovery, i still run that blog (after all, i’ve met some people in AA who still continue to tend bar), but if i ever started drinking again, i could never go back to being the guy that opened The Bar None.

The problem with my Devil-May-Care attitude was i found it he did.

[Click here to see other SlogAAns &  sAAyings found in recovery]

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Think! Think! Think! Again

Used 2012-09-23 Think Think Think alcoholism recovery sobriety

In AA speak, the slogan “Think! Think! Think!” means stop listening to your gut and start listening to the voice of reason. As alcoholics, we were dogs salivating for booze as soon as the warning bells went off, and the more we drank the faster and louder those bells rang. We we drank instinctively.

“Think! Think! Think!” tells us to stop acting on reflexes and keep our brains turned on.

(In some rooms, the “Think! Think! Think!” sign is turned upside down to tell us that yes, we need to think, but we need to think differently than we did in the past because our alcoholic thinking led us into a bottleneck.)

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i keep saying that coincidence is the language of God and lately the question of my thought patterns keeps coming up.

  • i’ve been overly sensitive lately because i can’t turn off my brain when it comes to my problems
  • i’ve been thinking about how i can’t wait to get to Step 11 in the 12 Steps where it talks about meditation
  • My best recovery friend in the States talked about my “knowledge, IQ and ability to understand (recognize) situations and to give help to others” as a way to manage my overzealous thought patterns
  • At our last meeting, my sponsor said that controlling my intelligence is a key to moving forward in my sobriety

To control these rampant thoughts, my sponsor has suggested writing them out as soon as i feel the panic setting in. i do know that keeping busy helps and that going to meetings really really helps, but if anyone else has any tips (other than more exercise, ITSB! lol) on how to keep the dogs of thoughts at bay, i’d love to hear them.

Thanks for being there, y’all.

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