one of the responsibilities of the secretary is to choose the speaker for the meeting. The first guy i asked claimed he’d spoken the day before, but the second guy i asked was really gung-ho about the chance. Maybe too much…
Remember how i was all about how to get in touch with your Higher Power even if you’re an agnostic, and how people in Yeaman are less into the Christian God than many AA groups in the States, and especially how the best way for me to avoid panic attacks and stay sober is to give things up to my Higher Power? Well, my God has one hell of a sense of humor.
The speaker i chose turned out to be a pastor. Coincidence after all my recent posts? Coincidence is the secret language God uses to talk to you. In his share, my guy confessed to being a preacher and started talking about how God saved him from alcoholism, blissfully unaware of the scepticism Yeamen feel about this kind of proselytizing. i was in shock.
Until i understood that this was a pop quiz. Sure, i was good at talking about giving things up, but could i really do it? Could i practice what i preached? Could i give God the stress i felt over choosing a speaker who chose to speak about God? Seems like God is not without a certain sense of irony.
i sat back and relaxed as the preacher rambled on. After he was through, many people shared that they appreciated his point of view, while others expressed their own religious views (one of our regulars is a staunch Buddhist), but i didn’t take it personally.
It wasn’t my problem—it was God’s. Literally, this time.
One of the main tenets of recovery is that the addict is not able to control their own drinking (or gambling, or binging/purging, or drugging, or sex addiction…), otherwise they would control it and there would be no addiction problem. Because we addicts are not able to control this aspect of our lives, we have to give control of that area to someone / thing who can; this entity is often referred to as a Higher Power, or a “power greater than ourselves”.
But what about those people who cannot find their Higher Power?
What follows are my suggestions for those who are struggling with the concept of a Higher Power.
10 Ways for an Agnostic to Find God
- Stop looking
- Listen to the silence
- Create something from nothing
- Write a mental list of at least 3 people you love, and why you love them
- Do a totally anonymous act of kindness
- Decide what you want most, then think about it until your heart hurts
- Hold hands with someone (two people works best, one on each side)
- Talk to someone with less experience than you
- Apologize out loud to someone you love
- Do something that makes you deliciously happy
When you have done all of these ten things, put a face on how you feel (note: it doesn’t have to be a person’s face).
The next time you need God, think of that face.
When you can’t see that face anymore, go back to step 1.